What is the difference between green and desert sage? About 20 bucks a gallon.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why was the black child found dead in water? He was raped and thrown into a river.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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lol

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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