What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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