Your mother just died.

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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