when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

Anyone can post anything.

What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

Knock knock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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