Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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