How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Major League Soccer

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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being sober in a bar fight

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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