What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Neither have I

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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