A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black student graduated High School

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops