A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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here kitty kitty

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Penis

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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