So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Canadians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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