What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops