There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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