Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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