Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

Justin Bieber.

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

why am I writing this...im bored

I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Billy: You're so ugly you made an onion cry! Jack: I'm rubber and you are glue, whatever you say bounces back and sticks to you. Billy was so upset at what he said and decided to leave.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

What comes after Friday? A ?.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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