how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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