(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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Sex

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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