What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops