Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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homosexual

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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