Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Golf.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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The Big Band Theory

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Beka has AIDS

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops