what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -4

thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops