Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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PENIS

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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