What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Turkeys are obese

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Title IX

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ANDERS!! Thanks for the warnins, I mean I wuld beat you up even when I can barely move, but I just told the doc and the nurse to shut this door, thanks man, would never thought about that if you had not warned me... beat me up when I am poisoned? Your mom replied, it sasy "I do not like the idea" You know what I told you about not right? DO NOT THINK ABOUT A blue elephanT! WOSH BLUE ELEPGANT IN YOur MIND, ITS LIKE SAYING I AM NOT INTEREsted in KNOWING MUCH MORE! Your sister? YOu know she has a crush on me, ill fuck her so hard youul will know when she wont be able to walk straight or sit YES Id meet you, but you know... Ladies first... PS: OF Co0uRse iTS mY dick, in her mouth, it looks wrong because I AM FULL ON VALIUM YOu POISONOUS VENOM I wont turoture you, I mean not physically, but consider this the first picture, and if you want to see your mom and sister nekkid, then keep receiving picks. My skin is tan, yet they call me Black, the cloror of my soul. read below people, I am gonna bang his sistar, and his mom, watch out for the nekkid pics before they get removed on... Rate my ex, yeaaaah... any moment now, dont adress me anymore Anders, becuz the door is closed, and I cant saty awak anymore, nobody is coming in the doc said, its the bald guy with the smile, I told him to give you my phone with the last pic, he said maybe and asked if you wound nt get mad... Screw that phone, its full of your girlfriends nekkid pics anyways XD, he caught me sticking the finger btw, not the rest... And fuck you. Nero, the fucker.... Soon...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops