A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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outside your comfort zone

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops