Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops