My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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kathryn atkins

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops