What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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