Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Why so serious ?

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Jeff

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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