What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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