Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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black

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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why did Suzy drop her ice cream? doesn't matter, why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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YOLO

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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