What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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thumbs up!

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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