Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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My nipple is bleeding

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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A black man without problems.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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