What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Itookasipasoda

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Diana and victoria

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Penis.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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