What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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