I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

A hayride would be fun.

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

A baby seal walks into a club.

What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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