so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Hi Adam,

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YOLO

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Animal

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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66

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops