whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Diana and victoria

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops