A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Your mother is so fat.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops