Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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clamidia

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Libraries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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