A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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I'm funny.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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pussy enough said

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Poop.

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Knock knock, come in.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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