What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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