Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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YOLO

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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i like pie

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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