How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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George W. Bush

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

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Poop.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops