Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

thumb_up thumb_down -80

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The joke below me is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops