A drunk guy walks into a car

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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What's dark, has an opening, and guys like to go in it. A cave

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Q. What do you call a woman who, after 72 hours of hard labor, finally gives birth? A. Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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