What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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baloney sandwich

yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...