Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your adopted.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops