There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops