A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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