why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops