Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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