what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Obama

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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knock knock come in

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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don't just stand there

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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