A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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