I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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