How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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This is a joke.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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F? No k

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Justin's life

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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