What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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