Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Swag.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops