Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Momma So Fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops