What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Chris Bosh's neck

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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